C sections vs “natural” birth

OK, first of all, I had a c-section with my first and I’m proud. Did I chose this route? No. Did I want to give birth vaginally? Honestly, not really it scared the hell out of me, but I knew Kylie needed to come out one way or another. In my life as a mother I’ve encountered many who hate on c-sections, you can sense their disdain the way they talk about birth. It fires me up inside.

1. I don’t think anyone gets to choose a c-section just because, there is typically a health related reason! (Even if there isn’t a health related reason, just like everything else in motherhood, if you didn’t make it you don’t get a say in how it’s brought into this world. Keep your judgements to yourself) In my case, if I would have been born 100 years prior, there’s a good chance Kylie and I wouldn’t have survived birth. My body was not dilating even with all the drugs to help, therefore it was absolutely necessary to have doctors assist and cut her out.

2. C-section is not by any means “an easy way out” I am pretty sure I still have some PTSD from my C-section. Being awake while they cut a child out of you is panic inducing and terrifying. Not to mention the shaking that can occur while your body essentially goes through shock as you come out of the anesthesia. Then the nurse says “its time to hold your baby and try to nurse” as you think, “ummmm hello have you heard of shaken baby syndrome?!” But actually the nurse is right, it’s soothing to hold your cute little pumpkin.

3. This whole conversation of c-section vs “naturally”…don’t get me wrong I’ve said it too, thank you society norms. ( I also know that “naturally” can regard drug free, but for this point I want to talk about vaginal birth) But guys, saying you gave birth the natural way, can, to some people, induce an embarrassment and shame that their body couldn’t bring life into this world through the way “it was meant to be”…I’m definitely speaking for myself here. When I went into the hospital to be induced, they sent me home the next day because even though id been consistently contracting for 1.5 months, my body wasn’t taking the drug seriously and no dilation was occurring. When the nurse told me I should go home, I cried and immediately shamed myself.

This time around my doc gave me the option for VBAC or scheduled c-section. I really thought about this. My decision, scheduled c-section. Upon first writing this I felt I needed to give a reason, but I don’t owe anyone a reason for what I choose for my body. Again, just like in all things motherhood in my opinion, if you didn’t create it you don’t get a say in how I raise it. As mothers we are constantly trying to fight against the boxes society keeps putting us in. Can we just love on one another regardless of birth stories?! To be clear, I have nothing against those who choose not to use drugs or who give birth vaginally. Seriously, regardless of how your baby came into this world, can we just love each other? Or as my mother taught me, “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.”